Love Odyssey

Hurricane Earl has come and gone. He brought winds of less than 30 miles an hour and a little rain. We are relieved that he left no destruction in his path here in Oriental. Today is just another gray, rainy day. But I have to admit that I feel a bit of disappointment because of all the time it took to prepare the boat and dock for a hurricane. I guess later today when the rain stops we will begin the task of putting the boat back together—erect the dodger over the companionway, put on the windshield and hatch covers, cover the teak rails, move the dinghy back on the davits with its outboard engine in place, and untie a lot of extra lines holding the boat to the dock. I just hope that this is the last hurricane of the season for NC—because I don’t relish doing this all over again!

Helen –09/03/10

Hurricane Earl is knocking on our back door—or so it seems.  Everyone in our marina has been tying down their boats, removing canvas, and securely stowing anything that could be a projectile.  We are no exception.  We arrived at the marina last night at 9 pm and immediately began tying more lines to our pilings and taking down our canvas dodger.  Early this morning we removed all the canvas that covers our teak rails and placed more bumpers in strategic places to cushion any contact with the dock.  Bryce took our dinghy off the davits that suspended it at the stern of the sailboat and tied it in the water, minus outboard engine.

 Now we sit here and wait…  so far there is very little wind but the sky is ominously gray.  We have been told to expect a storm surge of 3 to 5 feet of water and wind up to 70 miles per hour.  Bryce has lines to pilings and the dock that can be adjusted from the boat for rising water levels.  We have done all the preparations that can be made.  Now we will see what kind of punch Earl wants to give us.

 Helen 09/02/2010

Sometimes a girl just needs to have fun!  We generally spend a good portion of our time working on boat projects.  It seems there is a never-ending list of things that need to be repaired, maintained or up-graded.   For example, yesterday we worked on putting bungs in the teak deck and mastic between the narrow teak boards.  I really don’t mind doing these projects, but occasionally we have to build in some fun.  So this morning we took out our new-to-us dinghy and roared out the channel of the marina and under the Oriental Bridge at full tilt.  I was sitting at the bow of the dinghy and each wave that we hit had me bouncing up off my seat.  Bryce figured we were doing about 25 miles per hour, which is pretty fast for an 11-foot rigid inflatable boat.

Both of us have an explorer streak—we like to find new places.  Today we explored the little creeks that branch out from the Oriental harbor.  There were some lovely houses with docks behind where boats of various types were tied up.  We saw lots of floats marking crab pots and a few people fishing for puppy drum in remote coves.  I always want to see where a creek ends or disappears (or becomes too narrow or shallow for anything but a kayak).  Our curiosity quenched, we turned the dinghy around and entered the main harbor where the shrimp boats are docked.  We noticed that not as many boats were in the harbor as in previous weekends—maybe the shrimping season is winding down.  We tied up the dinghy at the public dock and walked across the street to the Bean for my favorite drink, a “Bean Freeze”.  The Bean is the heart of the town and everyone eventually goes there sometime in the weekend.  We met a friend we had not seen for many months and chatted for an hour while catching up on the local news.  Such a treat!  Yes, a girl needs to have some fun—and the dinghy ride was just what I needed.

 Helen—08/28/10

Today we began another Safe Passage cruise. It is always challenging to see the problems that the couple present and then figure out what types of intervention they need to get un-stuck and moving in a positive direction. But now in addition to helping the couple, we carry our own burden which I mentioned in my last post. It is helpful for us to focus on the couple because we can do something positive and feel good about it; we really can’t do anything about our family problem because it is out of our hands. So tonight I sit here and anticipate helping another couple navigate the thorny path of relationships and I can smile and feel like we are making a difference in their lives. And so life goes on even though we feel this sadness in our chests that we cannot escape.

 Helen –08/15/10

We are just now back home from our first Safe Passage Odyssey and I can’t believe how well it worked out.  My experience is that first time efforts are usually fraught with mistakes and mediocre results.  This Odyssey was surprisingly more powerful than I had expected.  I didn’t expect to feel so emotionally moved on a spiritual level.  Perhaps we were lucky with such a courageous couple who were able to self-examine and confront some uncomfortable schemas that were destroying their marriage.  But I’m hoping that there’s something magical in the process itself – that Helen and I being so intimate with another couple for 7 days on such an unusual adventure can actually nudge them into a new way of thinking and feeling.  There’s no question that this first couple experienced a very profound change in their perspectives, not only about their relationship but to some extent about how they are approaching life.

 There was a lot of teaching, a lot of story-telling, some tears and a whole lot of laughter.  I think that the laughter was especially important in framing the voyage as a safe place to explore.  Even so, the process was emotionally intense.  By Wednesday we all agreed that we needed a break to NOT focus on the relationship and to just relax and take in New Bern.  I think the zenith of the trip was when we arranged an old resentment burial service out on a remote beach at sunrise.  We ferried the couple there at 6 AM when the sun was just rising and the beach was deserted.  Each person had a full half-hour to read and vent their list of past resentments with their partner listening with no retort.  After each had their turn, they burned their lists together in a little grave they had dug for their cremation ceremony.  After they filled in the resentment grave,  I officiated as captain and guided them through their pledges to each other.  Then out came the champagne, toasts and hugs all around.  While the whole ceremony was going on, I felt so blessed to be able to have these kinds of experiences that so many people aren’t able to have.  It was a somewhat transcendent feeling of being so close to the pulse of life.  These people were sharing their core truths in the most heroic way imaginable.

 Another take-away from this trip was to again see Helen’s innate brilliance when she combines her wisdom with her awesome emotional warmth.  I remember sitting there watching her as the couple talked with us.  But I had to laugh out loud at how much she out-matched me in making a connection with them.  They were looking at her the majority of the time and for good reason.  There she was, nodding her head and giving little verbal reassurances that she was tracking and understanding it all.  Her attunement skills are out of this world!  I sit and listen with interest and wonder.  But she listens and exudes warmth and compassion.  I may have more understanding of how things fit together and how people need to grow.  She’s able to model how to be emotionally whole.  She and I have different strengths and it’s good for my “Inner Ceasar” to be humbled by some of hers.

 Bryce – 7/18/2010

Yesterday morning we left Oriental at 6:00 a.m. to sail to Ocracoke.  NOAA weather predicted winds 10-15 miles/hour out of the north, which for a sailboat means that we had the wind on our nose and there was no way we could hoist the sails.  The Neuse River and Pamlico Sound are very shallow bodies of water, averaging 15 to 20 feet in most spots.  We had waves of 1 to 2 feet and our boat bounced off of them about every 20 to 30 seconds.  Once you get used to the motion of the boat, it can be tolerated, but moving around much is tricky.  We have learned over the years that this is the price you pay for the privilege of visiting this island paradise.  Ocracoke generally extracts a price either going or leaving.

 We arrived by noon and as soon as the boat was securely tied to the Park Service dock, we left for lunch at the Jolly Roger restaurant.  This is one of our favorite places to have a brew and munchies.  Then we picked up some good fish to barbeque for dinner at the local fish market.  We had never tried tile fish before and we would now recommend it for future meals—delicious with fresh salsa and corn on the cob.

 This morning bright and early we hiked up to the airport (where seven small planes were parked) and out to the beach for some photographs.  At eight in the morning we had the beach to ourselves!  Then on to the Fig Tree Bakery for some breakfast.  We figured that we had hiked at least five miles—not too bad for us ole folks!

 This afternoon we packed a picnic lunch and headed out in the dinghy for Springer’s Point.  This is our favorite beach on the island; it’s not on the ocean but rather on the sound side where there are no waves and the warm, calm water goes out for several hundred yards and is still only chest deep.  We always take Mitzie, our little Yorkie, and she barks with excitement the entire way.  She can’t wait to swim and explore the little creatures in the nooks and cranies around the beach boulders.  Bryce and I enjoy sitting in the shade of our beach umbrella, sipping sangria and nibbling on hummus and crackers.  Life doesn’t get much better than this!

 Helen—06/19/10

 The past two long weekends we have had such lovely trips-to Ocracoke and to Beaufort.  But with boats it seems that every time you take them out for pleasure, something breaks or needs fixing.  So this weekend we are fixing all the things that broke.  This morning we went from hardware store to West Marine (the boaters’ Wal-mart) and back to hardware store to get all the parts and tools that we needed.  This afternoon Bryce has his head in the “head” (boat lingo for “bathroom”), fixing a valve and hose that determines whether waste goes into the holding tank or overboard (only if 12 miles off-shore).  Repairing things is not Bryce’s forte; let’s be honest, Bryce would rather have a root canal than work with tools on the boat.  But if we get the boat yard to work on every little thing that goes wrong, we would have to be as rich as Bill Gates, and that is not going to happen in this lifetime while doing health care.  So with much muttering and the occasional explicative, Bryce does as many repairs as he can.

 This morning Bryce worked on our teak deck, replacing bungs that had come loose over the past several months.  This is a never-ending task, but one that is pretty easy once you’ve done it a few times.  I worked on putting rigging tape over the cotter pins at the base of the shrouds so they do not work loose during a lively blow when the sails are up.  We also repaired some small worn spots on our mizzen mast.  Thus is the life of a sailor—we “pay the piper” for each lovely trip on the water.

 Helen—06/05/10

We were supposed to travel back to Ocracoke for the holiday weekend.  I was feeling ambivalent since we had already spent three days there last weekend, but what the heck, I do love Ocracoke.  So when Bryce said that we were going to sail back there again on Friday morning, it was fine and I was psyched.

   It is always hard to get dockage on a holiday weekend and our generator decided to die, which meant that if we didn’t want to roast and be conservative with power while sitting on anchor in Silver Lake, we better leave very, very early in the morning.  So yesterday morning we got up at 3:15 and left our dock a half hour later.  We noticed that the wind was blowing much harder than the weather forecast had predicted, but heck, we are a blue water boat and should be fine.

  When we got out in the middle of the river and put the boat on autopilot, the chart-plotter kept trying to send us back to Oriental.  Bryce had to keep re-programming it, probably about three times.  Then it started to get choppy and the boat was taking lots of blue water over the bow.  We had the windshield wipers going so we could see where we were heading, I was holding the dog in my lap so she would not fall and get hurt with the motion of the boat as she slammed down on waves, we were taking in some water on the galley floor from water being shipped into the dorades, and our power cord that we had coiled up on the bow was perilously shifting around and in danger of falling overboard and fouling the prop.  In addition, the motion of the boat made it difficult to fix breakfast, so Bryce and I nibbled on granola bars.  But as we looked at the radar and listened to the VHF radio conversations from other boats also on their way to Ocracoke, we realized that we were going to be at the head of the pack (of sailboats, anyway) and would most assuredly get dockage.  The boat was flying at 7.5 knots in spite of beating into the wind on engine alone.

 Then as we left the river and got into the Pamlico Sound, the boat’s motion got worse and although we knew that we could make it, we asked ourselves if we were having fun—definitely not!  I admit, I am a fair weather sailor—I don’t like putting my body into a washing machine on the spin cycle.  So we turned the boat around and headed back up river (I think our autopilot and chart plotter were right when they tried to do this earlier!).

 So here we are in beautiful Beaufort, tied up to the town docks and loving every minute of it!  Sometimes Plan B is the better plan.

 Helen –05/29/10

We should be in Bellehaven, but here we are in Ocracoke and I couldn’t be happier! We had been planning to check out Bellehaven this weekend, but lack of a functional dinghy engine resulted in making this destination switch the last minute. I have to admit, of all the destinations around the Pamlico Sound, Ocracoke is by far my favorite. Yesterday morning we left bright and early from our dock in Oriental under blue skies and barely a wiff of breeze. In fact, there was light fog on the water and at times almost a mirage of land that turned out to be a bit of stirred up water. About six hours later we motored into Silver Lake, which is really not a lake, but a very protected harbor. No problem finding a vacant dock at the Park Service Docks. Next weekend it will be a very different story as everyone with a boat tries to find dockage for the holiday. Yes, there is some advantage to making this trip when everyone else is still at work.

 I love to stroll the quiet lanes and roads on this island. Yesterday we walked around the village, noting what shops and restaurants had changed since we were last here a year ago. We had to check out the Community Store, now an up-scale grocery store, and the Jolly Roger, where we consumed a beer and fries for old times sake(we have been doing this on every visit for about twenty years). 

Enjoying Life On Ocracoke

Today we made our way to Ocracoke Coffee Company on the back road for some of the best java I have ever had (or could it just be the atmosphere?). At noon we hiked to Springer’s Point and had a little picnic on the very site where it is said Blackbeard the Pirate had his last party before he was captured and beheaded. Yes, I like Bellehaven and we do plan to sail there this summer, but I’m pretty happy with the treasures of Ocracoke.

Helen – 05/22/10