Love Odyssey

 Here we are in Key West, celebrating our 30^th wedding anniversary and Christmas. The temperature is in the low 80’s, there are decorations on palm trees, and everyone is wearing shorts and sandals. It sure is not your proverbial “white Christmas”! We got here yesterday morning and since our room at the hotel was not ready yet, we walked around the island taking in the ambience of the area. Suzy, our 3 pound Yorkie, rode in her stroller. Of course Suzy is not your typical “dog”; she wears clothes every day, has her own car seat and stroller, and eats some of the food on my plate (in addition to dog food). She is cute as a button and everyone we passed as we walked around the island remarked about her. People we met yesterday greeted her today by name. She has become a Key West mini-celebrity!

 Last night we celebrated our anniversary and Christmas Eve by eating at an up-scale seafood restaurant called Seven Fish. The banana chicken was wonderful and the key lime cheesecake was also outstanding. We found out that a lot of restaurants that have outside eating areas are “dog friendly” and allow pouches under 75 pounds. So Suzy has been going to most meals with us and sharing some of what we eat.

 Bryce and I like to explore together and there is so much to see and do here. This is probably our fourth time here and some of the stores have changed hands over the years. We have also gotten some of Key West mixed up with New Orleans, another favorite place we like to visit. So we have been having fun exploring. Tonight we walked back to our hotel and took pictures of some of the decorative Christmas lights.

We also like eating ethnic foods and there is much of that here. Cuban, Mexican, Jamaican, soul food, Chinese, Sushi, are just a few that we have seen. Bryce is hankering for some ox tail stew; yesterday we had conch fritters and fish bites; today we had pork ribs and black bean soup, as well as Cuban coffee. Yes, we are having fun! What a great way to celebrate!

 Helen 12/25/11

Small towns often have unique celebrations, and so it is for Oriental. In this town the croaker, a small fish that when caught lets out a croaking sound, is celebrated every July with festivities that resemble a small-town fair. Yesterday over fifty vendors set up shop along the waterfront facing the Neuse River. There were the usual arts and crafts booths selling such sundry items as t-shirts with fish logos, jewelry, handbags, etc. as well as flea market items like fishing poles, rope of various colors and widths, puppets, dog dishes and so on. Then there were the food trucks selling funnel cakes, Polish sausage, sno-cones, french fries, and home-made ice cream. Top that off with a local band playing music from the ’60′s and beyond and someone singing while folks danced, strolled or roller-skated down the street. What a great street party!

This morning we watched the “Christmas in July” parade from the upper porch next to Bryce’s office.  There were cars carrying the Miss Croaker Queen and her court as well as the Little Miss Minnow girls.  Then the Shriners with their minature cars, motorized coolers/scooters, and water and bubble squirting alligators came.  There were antique cars that had been lovingly restored, people on horseback, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, the Y summer campers on their bus, and of course the mayor of Oriental, the firetrucks blowing their sirens, decorated golf carts, and the odd float with Christmas decorations as well as the patriotic red, white and blue.  And of course with a Christmas theme there was Santa Claus decked out in his winter clothes but sitting in front of a fan blowing cool air over some big blocks of ice–which he needed in this ninety degree heat.

Today for lunch we ate barbecued hotdogs out in front of the marina clubhouse as a fitting part of the Forth of July/CroakerFest celebration.  This afternoon we will have a swim at the pool and tonight we will watch fireworks over the waterfront.  Yes, I really do enjoy this nostalgic small town celebration!

Helen   07/02/11

I love boats–any kind of boat, big, small, monohull, catamaran, trimaran, kayak, canoe, rowboat, it doesn’t matter. I guess I am just enamored by the whole idea of being out on the water, moving through it, generally in control of this element to get from point A to point B.

Today a friend at the Bean (our local coffee shop) asked Bryce and I to come out and see the catamaran that he has been building over the past twelve years. I stood in awe of all the work that went into making this craft from an empty hull. He showed us all the stainless work that he had to fabricate to hold up his mast and sails, as well as cleats to moor the boat, and even a barbeque on the stern. Then there were all the little compartments for clothing, food, and tools as well as all the other little things we have in a house. Yes, this boat is his house in the water.

And just as most folks are proud of their house, so we sailors are proud of our boats.  This fellow proudly showed us his dinghy that he had fabricated out of fiberglass to fit on the stern of his catamaran.  I am in awe of anyone who can make something so complex with so many intricate parts as a sailboat or even a dinghy.  I know that Bryce and I could never make anything like this.  But then again, we do have other talents that are probably awesome to most individuals–we don’t do so well fixing up boats (we pay others to do that for us) but we can help to fix some marriages.  We have another Love Odyssey cruise scheduled for the week of Fourth of July.

Helen  06/26/11

Today we are on day six of our seven day Love Odyssey. At 5:30 this morning we met our couple and took them to a remote beach in the dinghy. Each partner was given the opportunity to vent their resentments for 30 minutes while the other one had to sit quietly and listen. Then we dug a hole and they burned the resentments. Bryce officiated at a resentment ceremony (similar to a wedding ceremony) followed by champagne.  For me this is the most fitting and emotional ending to a journey of love and re-commitment to a relationship.  I always feel very emotional after this and in my mind this is not only a re-commitment for our Odyssey couple, but also a personal commitment for Bryce and I to continue our own journey to help others and to grow ourselves.

Helen– 06/17/11

Yesterday and today have been cleaning days in preparation for our first Love Odyssey of the year. We steam cleaned the carpets, shampooed all the pillows and cushions and even cleaned out the scuppers. We also shopped and provisioned the boat for a week of sailing. Bryce and I are both very excited about the coming trip. We look forward to helping another couple look hard at their relationship and find out ways to re-establish the bond. What you probably don’t know is that when we work with couples, we too, are also strengthening our own bond with each other. So with each couple that we help, Bryce and I learn more about each other and feel even more connection.

Helen   06/04/11

Yesterday we got up at five a.m. so we could get an early start to Ocracoke.  We knew lots of other boaters would want to make Ocracoke their destination and we wanted to be sure to secure a Park Service dock.  In past years we learned that these fill up quickly.  Although we could anchor out in Silver Lake, it is more convenient to tie up to the dock rather than have to jump into the dinghy each time we need to go to shore.  We left at 6:00 and motor sailed with jib and staysail up to give us the best speed.  We are not racers, but Bryce did race and pass several other sail boats on his quest for the “prize”.  At 11:30 we entered the harbor and had several docks from which to choose.  Hurray! We won the race!

I am still in a “boot” after my foot surgery 3 weeks ago, so I am not very helpful at getting the boat docked-or even moving around much on deck with all the lines and hardware—but there were some nice folks standing around the docks and they helped secure lines.  We made it!  The remainder of the day we just enjoyed being here.

- Helen 05/29/2011

Thursday I regained more freedom. Bryce took me back to the orthopedic surgeon for my post-surgery visit. They cut off my plaster cast, took out 42 stitches–ouch!, x-rayed my foot, and put me into a “boot”. Good-bye crutches and walker and hello freedom. The boot makes me shift my weight to my heel so the front part of my foot does not move and the bones can continue to heal. Wow! We celebrated my new-found freedom by going to the grocery store and then out to lunch. It was wonderful!

This weekend we found out that I can still negotiate the ladder on the transom of the boat so I can board our dinghy as usual. That means that for the long Memorial Day weekend we can take the boat out and anchor somewhere. No, I still can’t get my foot wet, but I really don’t miss swimming in the cold water this time of year. It looks like I may get the boot off around Independence Day–it will certainly be a good way to re-assert my independence!

Helen 05/22/11

I’m not a good patient–I hate having someone wait on me and I have no patience with my body when it cannot do what I want. So the first three days after my surgery when I was on total bedrest was very, very hard for me. Monday night my patience was wearing thin and I admit I was pretty bitchy with Bryce. Poor man, he was doing his best fixing supper and waiting on me. But I had my fill of this “bed rest” and wanted to get up and do for myself. So he got the brunt of my discontent.

By Tuesday morning I decided it was time to gradually reclaim my former life as much as possible. I started by hobbling out to the kitchen to fix my own breakfast. Then I loaded the dishwasher –my way–and proceded to wash a couple of loads of laundry. By noon I was tired and my foot was sore and swelling a bit, but I had a smile on my face and Bryce had a hot lunch fixed by me. That evening I decided to tackle the stairs–on my rump–so I could sleep in my own bed and not the guest room downstairs.   And so the week went as I gradually reclaimed my old life. Wednesday night Bryce hinted that I might be well enough to try the boat this weekend. We had originally planned to stay home another week until I got the cast off and a “boot” on. By Thursday morning I was itching to get down here to the coast even though ambulating around this boat and its many steps presented a big challenge. Well, we got here at 3:00 today and the steps were not that difficult to descend–on my rump. So here I am sitting in the pilothouse with this big grin on my face–I did it!

Helen 05/13/11

Last night I came home from the hospital. This was supposed to be an outpatient procedure but my intolerance to the pain meds (severe nausea) caused me to spend a night in hospital. So now I am home and surrounded by walker, crutches, and other invalid care equipment. Bryce is my nurse and Suzy is all over the bed giving me kisses-if only they could heal my foot!

It is really hard for me to relinquish all the household tasks and just sit in bed and be waited on. But I have no choice–so I will just make the best of it. I’ll continue the saga in the coming weeks.

Helen 05/08/11

I am really nervous tonight. Tomorrow morning I am having major surgery on my left foot to remove a bunion, stabilize a broken second toe, and make room for my other toes. I will be in a cast for two weeks and then in a “boot” for another six to eight weeks. So for eight to ten weeks I will not be able to bear any weight on my left foot. I tried out some crutches today and I nearly lost my balance. I have on order a “knee walker” that the doctor thought would be better for getting around the house. Did I say I am scared?! The pain is supposed to be pretty intense–I picked up my pain meds. from the pharmacy yesterday and spoke with the pharmacist–this is heavy-duty stuff.

But you know what is really bothering me? Being helpless and having to rely on Bryce to fix the meals, clean the house, and even help me bathe. I’m such an independent woman that it will be difficult to just sit back and wait for him to do my bidding. I won’t be able to do steps at all except to bump up and down on my bottom–and of course our bedroom is upstairs. Then there is the bit about driving and working–that is also a big question mark. We will have to see how it goes. And of course getting on and off the boat and getting down into the cabin of the boat will also be a challenge. So I am very nervous tonight. I’ll keep you posted….

Helen 05/05/11