Love Odyssey

We just finished our third Safe Passage cruise.  It still surprises me how much progress couples make when they commit to a cruise.  Our third couple was no exception—they worked hard and learned other ways to connect with their partner so that the love and intimacy that initially was present years ago could once more be evident. 

Bryce and I enjoy these cruises but we work hard too.  I admire Bryce’s wisdom about where to delve each day and how to tailor exercises to meet each couple’s needs.  I know that it must take a lot of courage and energy for each odyssey couple to trust us and give every bit of effort to improve the relationship.  We are always tired at the end of each day and I cannot imagine how tired our couples must be.  Not only do we move the boat from one location to another almost every day, but we also move the relationship forward each day.  There is so much new material to digest daily.  

 As I sit here now and look back at the past three Safe Passage cruises that we have completed so far this summer, I want to say “Thank you” to the couples who have been brave enough to trust us and let us “beta test” the Love Odyssey concept.  It seems that it really does work.  And now I look forward to all the new adventures on the relationship sea for couples who need an odyssey to get their relationship back on course again.

 Helen –08/21/10

Yesterday my brother and his family came down for a day of sailing. And what a great sail we had! The wind was blowing a steady 15 knots as we headed down the river. We put up a mizzen sail, mainsail and our jib. This was the first time we used our whiskerpole to keep the end of the jib from flapping–wow! We really moved as we sailed wing-on-wing! I have to agree that running before the wind is the best kind of sailing! All you hear is the swish-swish of the bow wave as the boat effortlessley moves through the water. There is very little motion down in the cabin and drinks stay exactly where you placed them.

Yes, it was hot yesterday–but the breeze was what saved us–and also lots of bottles of cold water to drink. In three hours we were at the Neuse River Marker, half-way to Ocrocoke. Bryce does not like to tack, so the ride back to Oriental was with sails furled and motor going full-tilt. We lounged on the bow and got sufficiently wet with spray to make the heat bearable. An hour later we were tied up in our slip and ready for a dip in the marina’s pool. Not a bad day on the water!
Helen– 07/25/10

Yesterday we started our first real Love Odyssey cruise. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous about doing this, after all, I work exclusively with preschoolers and here we are working with hurting adults. But Bryce kept reassuring me that I could do this. Well, I got through our first day and so far I have not put my foot in my mouth. So I am gradually getting more confidence. I like the fact that Bryce uses our own martial material and encourages me to pipe up when something rings a bell that I can relate to. For instance, we do a lot of negotiating chores, e.g. “If I do X, will you do Y?”. If fact, we just did such a negotiation this morning. He puts the canopies over the deck of the boat at each new destination, and I do the inside chores like cleaning and tidying up.

We also practice the “I want…will you” principal in his book. “I want ice cream. Will you go to the store and get some?” Of course, with this example we both win! So gradually I am feeling a bit more confident about our joint odyssey endevour. I’ll let you know how things go later in the week.

Helen– 07/12/10

We had a fun-filled holiday weekend. We left our dock on Friday morning with a couple we have known for many years and their two pomaranians. This couple owns the boat in the slip adjacent to ours and we have shared many an evening in each others boats. The weather was splendid- sunny skies, warm temps, and no humidity. We took the Intracoastal Waterway to Beaufort and then sailed out in the ocean to one of my favorite spots, Cape Lookout. The wind was perfect for a mizzen sail and staysail and in record time we were anchored in front of Shackelford Banks. I love this anchorage because the wild horses frequently come down to the beach. And sure enough, later that afternoon as we strolled on the beach with our three dogs, we witnessed two stallions squaring off over two mares. What a sight to watch the bold up-start come galloping along the edge of the surf within yards of us, his mane and tail blowing in the breeze and the thunderous sound of his hooves on the packed sand!

On Saturday we packed up our dinghy and headed to the ocean side of Cape Lookout National Park where we had a picnic, played with our dogs, and the fellows went fishing.  The water temps. were perfect for a swim and the north wind prevented breakers.  It seemed every boat in the Beaufort area was anchored off the beach.  That evening the fellows took this picture of our boat at anchor at sunset.

On Sunday morning we headed back to Oriental.  Out in the ocean we encountered this large pod of dolphins feeding and cavorting.  We took a picture but it just can’t capture the feeling of over thirty dolphins surfacing around the boat.  I can’t help feeling that they too had a great holiday weekend.

Helen — 07/06/10

 The past two long weekends we have had such lovely trips-to Ocracoke and to Beaufort.  But with boats it seems that every time you take them out for pleasure, something breaks or needs fixing.  So this weekend we are fixing all the things that broke.  This morning we went from hardware store to West Marine (the boaters’ Wal-mart) and back to hardware store to get all the parts and tools that we needed.  This afternoon Bryce has his head in the “head” (boat lingo for “bathroom”), fixing a valve and hose that determines whether waste goes into the holding tank or overboard (only if 12 miles off-shore).  Repairing things is not Bryce’s forte; let’s be honest, Bryce would rather have a root canal than work with tools on the boat.  But if we get the boat yard to work on every little thing that goes wrong, we would have to be as rich as Bill Gates, and that is not going to happen in this lifetime while doing health care.  So with much muttering and the occasional explicative, Bryce does as many repairs as he can.

 This morning Bryce worked on our teak deck, replacing bungs that had come loose over the past several months.  This is a never-ending task, but one that is pretty easy once you’ve done it a few times.  I worked on putting rigging tape over the cotter pins at the base of the shrouds so they do not work loose during a lively blow when the sails are up.  We also repaired some small worn spots on our mizzen mast.  Thus is the life of a sailor—we “pay the piper” for each lovely trip on the water.

 Helen—06/05/10

I have never had a bad day at the beach and today was no exception.  We packed up some sandwiches and drinks, loaded up the dinghy with towels, chairs, small table, beach umbrella and our little Yorkie, Mitzie-Sue.  Off we sped to the backside of Carrot Island, dog barking with glee.  Mitzie is the perpetual two-year-old; everything is exciting.  Never-mind that she took the same trip to Carrot Island yesterday afternoon—oh no, it is all new and exciting again today.  Bryce and I enjoy her enthusiasm and spunk.  Just look at Mitzie about to kill a ghost-crab!  I would have let her have the experience, but Bryce kept begging me to spare the crab—and maybe her nose!

I think everyone in the Carolinas with a boat was on the water today.  We set up our chairs to watch the traffic streaming in and out of Beaufort inlet.  There were racing sailboats, kayaks, catamarans, runabouts, fishing boats, and the occasional multi-million dollar yacht coming and going.  Then there were all the families with barbeque grills, umbrellas, radios, screeching kids, and barking dogs to add color to the scene.  What fun to just watch!  I don’t think anyone had a bad day at the beach.

Helen –05/30/10

We were supposed to travel back to Ocracoke for the holiday weekend.  I was feeling ambivalent since we had already spent three days there last weekend, but what the heck, I do love Ocracoke.  So when Bryce said that we were going to sail back there again on Friday morning, it was fine and I was psyched.

   It is always hard to get dockage on a holiday weekend and our generator decided to die, which meant that if we didn’t want to roast and be conservative with power while sitting on anchor in Silver Lake, we better leave very, very early in the morning.  So yesterday morning we got up at 3:15 and left our dock a half hour later.  We noticed that the wind was blowing much harder than the weather forecast had predicted, but heck, we are a blue water boat and should be fine.

  When we got out in the middle of the river and put the boat on autopilot, the chart-plotter kept trying to send us back to Oriental.  Bryce had to keep re-programming it, probably about three times.  Then it started to get choppy and the boat was taking lots of blue water over the bow.  We had the windshield wipers going so we could see where we were heading, I was holding the dog in my lap so she would not fall and get hurt with the motion of the boat as she slammed down on waves, we were taking in some water on the galley floor from water being shipped into the dorades, and our power cord that we had coiled up on the bow was perilously shifting around and in danger of falling overboard and fouling the prop.  In addition, the motion of the boat made it difficult to fix breakfast, so Bryce and I nibbled on granola bars.  But as we looked at the radar and listened to the VHF radio conversations from other boats also on their way to Ocracoke, we realized that we were going to be at the head of the pack (of sailboats, anyway) and would most assuredly get dockage.  The boat was flying at 7.5 knots in spite of beating into the wind on engine alone.

 Then as we left the river and got into the Pamlico Sound, the boat’s motion got worse and although we knew that we could make it, we asked ourselves if we were having fun—definitely not!  I admit, I am a fair weather sailor—I don’t like putting my body into a washing machine on the spin cycle.  So we turned the boat around and headed back up river (I think our autopilot and chart plotter were right when they tried to do this earlier!).

 So here we are in beautiful Beaufort, tied up to the town docks and loving every minute of it!  Sometimes Plan B is the better plan.

 Helen –05/29/10

“Loafing” is not a word that Bryce and I use very often.  In fact, it is rare indeed for Bryce and I to use that word in reference to ourselves.  We are both very work-driven individuals and most weekends when we come down here to the boat we have a list of jobs and projects that we plan to accomplish.  But somehow this weekend was different.  We spent the majority of the time just “loafin’”. 

 Our inactivity was probably driven in part by the weekend offerings in Oriental.  Pecan Grove Marina, where we keep our boat, had their annual ‘Spring Fling’ at 1:00 yesterday.  This was really an excuse for slip owners and renters to schmooze at the club house over a barbeque chicken plate.  So there went a few hours.  Then when we returned mid-afternoon to the boat, stomachs laden with all that greasy goodness, a nap seemed in order.  I can usually nap for a just a half hour, but Bryce, who I am sure majored in napping in grad school, can usually while away a good two hours, and yesterday he did.  By the time he awakened from his siesta it was nigh on dinner time.

  Now I had read in the local newspaper that there was supposed to be a pig pickin’ at the inner harbor, so we decided to check it out.  Unfortunately all the tickets for the pig pickin’/fund raiser had been sold out hours before, but it sure smelled good and there was a great trio playing Irish music on the deck next to the tiki bar.  So we grabbed some beer and chatted up some friends for at least an hour.  By then we were really hungry, so we ordered some pizza and took it back to the boat for dinner.  The newspaper also said that there was going to be some live music at Oriental Harbor Marina; we had heard Night Cruise many times before and liked their sound, so at 7:30 we went back to listen.  When they took a break, we walked back to the inner harbor and listened to more music; a new, energy-filled group had replaced the Irish trio.  Then all that walking back and forth got us hungry again, so we stepped across the street to the Bean and had ice cream cones while sitting on the porch and listening to the tunes.  Yes, we did a lot of loafin’ yesterday—and I think we deserved it!

 Helen   05/16/10

This weekend we had our first 3-day Love Odyssey cruise and it could not have been any more spectacular. The weather gods smiled upon us and gave us sunny skies, perfect sailing winds, and very little humidity. We left Oriental on Friday morning around eight a.m. We motored through the Intracoastal Waterway, which we call “the ditch” because it is so narrow. Lovely homes line much of this waterway, with gently rolling lawns ending at the water where boats of various sizes are docked.

Around eleven o’clock we put up sails and proceded out of the Beaufort inlet. The ocean was so clear and blue. We had only been sailing a few minutes when our odyssey couple noticed motion in the water. Sure enough there were several dolphins cavorting in our bow wave. Then a few minutes later we noticed a large dark shadow off to the distance and a whale breached the surface! He seemed to be accompanied by more dolphins. What fun for all of us as we rapidly snapped photos and tried to guess where the whale would surface next.

We entered the Cape Lookout bight about 12:30 and anchored in some of the prettiest water–we could see fish swimming around the boat. Too bad that we forgot our fishing poles!

After a quick lunch on board we lowered our dinghy and motored to the lighthouse. The ride was a bit wet and splashy, but it felt good in the warm sunshine. There is a small museum in the lighthouse keeper’s house that is run by the national park service. After a walk across the dunes to the ocean, we returned to our dinghy and traveled to the far corner of the bight where we disembarked and walked to the old abandoned Coast Guard Station. We kept a sharp eye out for nutra, which are like large guinae pigs that were imported here from South America during the Second World War to help keep down the vegetation; no luck spotting them on this visit, but we have seen them in the past.

 Saturday morning we sailed back to Beaufort. We did spy a few dolphins near the boat, but alas, our whale was no where in sight! After anchoring in Taylor’s Creek along the Beaufort waterfront, we dinghied to shore and strolled along the waterfront where wooden boats of all descriptions were lined up. This was the weekend of the Wooden Boat Show. A large tent was erected in one area and at least twenty teams were vying for recognition in a boat building and rowing contest. We also enjoyed the Maritime Museum up the street where watercraft of all sorts were displayed, including artifacts from the pirate Blackbeard’s Queen Anne’s Revenge.

Sunday morning we re-traced our route back to Oriental under a bit hotter and windier conditions, but still very pleasant. A few dophins frolicked around our boat on the way.  We know our first Love Odyssey couple had a wonderful time on the water.

 Helen- 05/02/10