Love Odyssey

We are at anchor in Taylor’s Creek in Beaufort. We came here yesterday morning on a whim. Sometimes you just need a change of scenery and routine. We are anticipating the beginning of a long winter when we have to stay in dock, so we thought this might be one of our last trips of the season.

It is beautiful here. There are lots of boats anchored out in anticipation of heading south to the islands. Most cruisers leave late November at the end of hurricane season. Yesterday we were mistaken for cruisers by many of the local shopkeepers–until Bryce bought a heavy winter jacket that was on sale–no, you certainly won’t need that in the islands!

We also had fun showing off our new baby! Everywhere we went both women and men wanted to see and hold our little angel, Suzie-Q. She is so tiny and so cute learning how to walk on a leash–a ferret harness and leash, since we couldn’t find a dog set that was small enough for her.

Today looks like it will be warmer than yesterday, so we are planning to take a dinghy ride down to the end of Taylor’s Creek. With our first two sailboats we could do this because they only drew 2-3 feet, but this one would surely get stuck–but the dinghy can go anywhere! I want to see how much the area has grown with houses since last we were there–and of course, we want to watch the ferral horses on Bird Shoal and Carrot Islands. Sounds like a good plan for a pretty day!

Helen–11/20/10

This was one of those magical weekends that you never want to end. We got to spend three days on the boat with our almost five years old grandson, Andrew. I don’t want to brag, but he really is the sweetest, smartest, and most articulate child I have ever met. On Friday, we took him on the Minnesott ferry across the Neuse River to Cherry Branch. He had never been on a ferry boat and this became his highlight of the weekend. Now I must admit, from his point of view what could be more spectacular than standing outside on the bow of the boat, sun streaming overhead, warm, soft breezes, gulls hovering and squawking overhead, while a raft of vehicles are being magically towed over the water, just inches above the surface. The ride back in the late afternoon was just as exhillerating for him and to think that this much pleasure cost nothing!

Friday morning at 10:30 we arrived at the NC Aquarium at Indian Beach, nestled on a narrow spit of the island between Bogue Sound and the Atlantic Ocean. Andrew happily ran from one exhibit to the next, relishing all the varieties of fishes and other sea life on display in huge tanks. At times I wished I were on roller skates to keep up with him! I’m sure the divers in the shark tank was his favorite exhibit.

After lunch at a local diner, we headed to Beaufort to see the boats and pirate treasures at the Maritime Museum. Then back on the magical ferry again for our ride across the river.

Yesterday the weather was sunny but decididly much cooler with blustery winds that made it feel more like winter than early spring. We had to forego the dinghy ride because of a “small craft advisory”, so instead we took Mitzie-Sue, our little Yorkie, to the Oriental Pet Parade. Now the folks in this town are very serious animal lovers and I have yet to meet anyone who does not own at least one dog. It seemed like everyone in town showed up with their pooches, some dressed up in lavish costumes to match the owners, others more creative, such as the two large labradors in stripped prisoner outfits dragging a ball and chain while the owner was attired in police uniform. Just watching all the novel entries was entertainment enough, but of course this would not be Oriental if they did not have prizes for a variety of categories, like “most unusual”, “cutest”, “looks most like owner”, etc. Andrew had a wonderful time parading our “little princess” in her black and pink princess shirt that stated “Princess is not just a word, but an attitude”. Of course the competition was pretty stiff with over a hundred entries and we did not win a prize. This did not hurt Andrew’s feelings, but he kept reassuring Mitzie that she should not be sad and that he would bring her a toy from the pet store the next time he saw her. We kept telling him that Mitzie didn’t understand and she was alright, but our sweet little boy wanted to make her feel better!

Saturday afternoon we dyed Easter eggs and then grandpa Bryce got to show Andrew his helicopter. We fly the chopper (all 12 inches of it) in a large bath-house at the marina. Since grandpa hadn’t flown it in a year, it took him a few minutes to get the hang of getting it airborne without crashing. Andrew took great delight in watching the show but never once asked to fly it (of course, he has one at home, too–that’s where Bryce got the idea a couple of Christmases ago).

Yes, a good time was had this weekend by all participants! I must admit, it is so much more fun being a grandma than a mother–you can spoil them rotten and then hand them back to their parents. “You don’t want to eat your eggs for breakfast? OK, how about a brownie?” No problem nibbling on your chocolate rabbit five minutes before supper-time. A bag of chips before lunch–why not? Yes, we let our grandchildren break all those sacred rules that our own children had to follow. After all, we want to be remembered for all the fun stuff–yes, being a grandparent is my reward for all those years of parenting!

Helen- 03/28/10

Yes, we finally took the boat out of the slip! Hurray! We decided to sail to New Bern since we only had two days. I should amend that to “motor” rather than “sail”, since we had absolutely no wind–the water was as still as a millpond. But that was alright; I just needed to get a brief respite from the “same old, same old” of fixing things and installing items on the boat.

We left at 7:00 a.m. just as the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon–a beautiful sunrise with the promise of a perfect day. And really we could not have ordered a more perfect day for the end of March and the first day of spring. The day dawned with clear blue skies and the promise of warm, sweet air. We had not a cloud in the sky all day.

We arrived at the New Bern Grande Marina at 10:30 and tied up on the seawall in front of some pretty huge motor yachts worth many millions. By 11:00 we were strolling through the farmers market and sampling the relishes, brownies, and chutneys while eying all the sundry wares for sale. We spied a roof-top restaurant that looked like it was opening and snagged a table that gave us a bird’s eye view of the downtown, harbor and marina. It felt wonderful to have ole mister sun shining on my winter-starved skin again. After a leisurely lunch we strolled around town visiting our favorite shops and just enjoying being outdoors minus hats and coats.

We returned to our vessel about 3:00 and curled up for a snooze in the cockpit. I awoke 45 minutes later to a good stiff breeze and the sounds of lots of water craft buzzing around the river. Where was that wind this morning when we could have aired out our sails? 

Mitzie, our little Yorkie, and I enjoyed a leisurely stroll along the waterfront park. It seemed like everyone in New Bern was there, either walking, playing ball with their kids, fishing off the seawall,or just sitting and enjoying the 75 degree warmth. What a perfect day! We followed our walk with a chilled glass of chardonnay in the cockpit (that is, the humans, of course). I wanted to enjoy every last bit of the sunshine and blue skies.

This morning we left the dock in New Bern again around 7 a.m. as the sun was rising, but there was more chill in the air and more clouds in the sky. However, once again, the wind gods had over-slept and there was not a zepher to sail on. The morning proved to be mainly cloudy, with a tease of sunshine now and then. Returning to our home dock at 10:30 I felt happy to have had this nice mini-vacation–at last!
Helen

Date nights- we used to have to plan these when our children were younger.  Sometimes we planned them weeks in advance when things got really hectic.  Then we would both anticipate what we would say and do when the evening came.  Sometimes by then we might be too tired to stay out late, even if we had a babysitter, but at least we would try to make the most of those precious hours together—filling each other in our most pressing concerns, triumphs, and future plans or desires.  We learned early on that if we didn’t get these times to re-connect, our everyday irritations would soon boil over into major conflicts with much gnashing of teeth and snarling at each other.

Now that we are empty-nesters we don’t schedule date nights anymore.  But that is not to say that we do not need them anymore.  On the contrary, we still can bottle up resentments if we don’t re-connect on a regular basis.  It is just the nature of our date nights that has changed.  It used to be that we would go out to dinner, see a show and then maybe have a drink before driving home, dismissing the babysitter, and then sneaking up to our bedroom for some romance.  Now most of that is gone.  We often have re-connection time driving down here to the coast, like last evening.  For three hours Bryce drove while I sat and kept him company, discussing everything from therapy ideas, boat projects, money issues, healthcare reform, and yes-even the meaning of life!

Now I don’t want you to think that we don’t go out to dinner together anymore.  It’s just that we don’t have to orchestrate it weeks in advance.  We can be much more spontaneous.  And that is always good.  But if we don’t have our date nights, be they spontaneous like last evening, or planned, like in the early years, the consequence is still the same.  Yes, date nights are very, very important for us as a couple.   Helen (1/22/2009)

Helen thinks I’m obsessive and I know that’s true.  Lately I’ve been obsessing about anchors and storms.  What’s the best way to face one of those demon storms that severely punish many boaters who are naively confident from their history of Sunday afternoon sailboat regattas.  Two months ago I met a man in the local coffee shop where many of us sailor types like to hang out.  His leg was in a caste and he told me an interesting story about how his anchor snubber line had chafed through one night during a wild Northeaster storm.  This allowed the chain to pull tight with tremendous force and even yanked the windlass completely off the boat.  In all the turmoil, his foot got caught in the anchor chain and was nearly amputated. 

That sailor’s story reminded me of my 1988 fight with another Northeaster storm in which we nearly died. In fact we were anchored in the same location as the unfortunate sailor who nearly lost his foot.  During my brawl with my own demon storm, our jib unraveled in near hurricane winds and cinched up like a small spinnaker that put us under sail.  Our Bruce anchor plowed through the bottom muck instead of holding us fast.  We could see we were dragging towards shoals and the only things that saved us was when I crawled up to the nose and pushed off a second anchor that eventually set.  I learned alot that night:  how to secure a jib for a storm and to not use a Bruce anchor when I need strong holding power on a silt bottom.  I also learned something very empowering about myself that I previously didn’t know.  I hadn’t known that I would have the where-with-all to face probable death and still self-reflect.  That’s what happened.  When the worst part of the storm hit, our jib blew out and started catching the wind with a humongous crashing sound.  It felt like a monstrous giant was pounding the boat to pieces.  As I ran up the stairs to the top deck and caught a face full of hail, Helen yelled out “I’m scared!”  I yelled back ”I am too!”  The sea conditions and the uncontrolled sail looked like Hell unleashed.  It was apparent that the sail could literally decapitate me if I made a mistake.  As I stood there thinking we were all going to die within 10 minutes, I also thought it was ironic that I had expressed my fear to my wife.  I had expressed my feelings.  What a new-age man!  Big whoop-deep-do!  I thought it was darkly humorous that I would self-reflect on my own authenticity during the last moments of my life.  But as fate would have it, my second anchor did the trick and death was postponed for a probable 40+ more years.  Which brings me to my main point.  I’m going to give myself permission to get obsessive about my new anchoring SYSTEM. 

I’ve been visualizing, planning, obsessing, researching and now purchasing the meanest, nastiest bad-ass anchoring system I can fit on my boat:  a 75 pound pivot arm Super-max anchor with 2 humongous 3-strand snubber lines, chafing gear and all stainless steel thimbles, hooks and shackles.  I’m imagining that next demon storm and I feel like shouting  “Come on!  Bring it on!  I’m ready for you!”  Sometimes I think my obsessing helps me to prepare and feel safe.  It’s rather like having a big protective brother.          Bryce (1/22/2009)

I’m feeling  “boat-sick” this week.  Not sick of my boat–oh no, not by any means!  No- I’m home-sick for my boat!  You need to understand that we usually travel to our boat about every 4 or 5 days, usually on a Thursday or Friday evening and spend the entire weekend, leaving late on a Sunday.  We do this year-round irrespective of weather.  But once in a while life conspires such that we have to stay home.  That’s what happened last weekend.  It was our son’s 38th birthday and I have always made a family party, complete with barbequed ribs and homemade chocolate cake. 

Now I do love my boat, but my love for my son is even stronger.  After all, it doesn’t seem that long ago that he was a toddler, then a teenager, and now a grown man with a son of his own.  And this grandma thoroughly enjoys her grandson.  So it was a marvelous weekend with lots of quality family connection.  But come Monday morning I felt a wee bit of envy for those folks who got to spend the weekend on their boat, and each successive day this week, that longing just got greater and greater–and now I have a full-blown case of boat-sickness.  The only cure is to leave tomorrow evening as soon as Bryce finishes seeing his patients and travel as fast as the highway patrol will allow (more or less) until we finally get to board our boat and once again be “home”.         

   Helen (01/14/2009)