Love Odyssey

It is unusual for the Kaye’s to spend a weekend at home.  But this weekend Bryce had to attend a workshop in Chapel Hill, so we stayed put.  It always feels funny on Thursday afternoons if I do not have to pack up the car and plan the menu for the weekend (what needs to be packed into coolers for the trip to the coast). 

This time I made a list of what needed to be done around the house.  Our house in Cary is unfortunately second fiddle to the boat.  It really doesn’t get much TLC in the four days a week that we are home.  So I used the time at home this weekend to steam clean my carpets, wash windows and curtains, scrub the tile in the bathrooms and steam clean the deck.   And I also took the time to invite family over for a home-cooked dinner last night.  Not bad for a three-day weekend at home!

Helen   10/23/11

This was the perfect weekend to work on the deck of our boat.  The weather has finally turned fall-like with cool, crisp nights and warm sunny days.  A brisk breeze from the north has also kicked in to give everything an autumnal air. 

 I usually stain our teak deck in the spring, but this past year I had foot surgery and was unable.  The deck looked pretty mottled this summer but it was decidedly too hot to even think of staining in the roasting sunshine.  So yesterday morning I got out the stain and disposable brushes and got busy.  I did three quarters of the deck yesterday (enough so we could still get on and off the boat) and I finished up this morning.  I thnk she looks pretty spiffy!  Tomorrow we will hank on our two head sails that we removed before hurricane Irene and then we will be back in business again.

Helen  10/15/11

Fall is festival time in the south.  This weekend we attended the NC Seafood Festival in Morehead City.  This is like a mini version of the state fair.  There is a midway with a variety of rides and games of chance; lots of food booths with the seafood being king here; crafts for sale, especially things with coastal themes; three stages with any number of music genres; and tents featuring local chefs giving demonstrations about how to cook seafood.

Bryce and I went yesterday; we took Suzy in her stroller.  I don’t exaggerate when I say that we could not walk more than twenty feet without someone coming up and asking:  “How old is she”‘;”Is she a girl or boy” (duh!  Suzy was wearing a pink sweatshirt with “Sweetheart”); “Can I pet her”; “How old is she?”

The food was pretty good.  We had a so-so crab cake sandwich; a cajun shrimp in pita bread which was not spicy enough; and frozen cheesecake covered in chocolate on a stick that was awesome.  So I guess you could say we ate our way through the festival.

To be continued next week when we go to the Todd Festival up in the moutains….

Helen   10/02/11

I have always had some trepidation when it comes to the use of technical devices.  Back in college I chose the field of speech pathology because it involved talking to people and the only device I needed to use was a tape recorder.  The field of audiology scared me because you had to be able to use a variety of technical devices such as audiometers to measure people’s hearing.

Today I let Bryce set up the Netflix on the DVD player.  Yes, I use a computer and a laptop but don’t ask me to do anything too hard.  I can install software if I follow the directions and e-mail is a snap.  But now moving files around–you better show me how.  If I follow Bryce’s directions which I have carefully written down on  several sticky sheets then I can save stuff to a CD and move it to another computer to download.  But I must admit that I hold my breath every time I do technical stuff.

What amazes me is how kids and teens feel so comfortable with all of our technical devices.  They just seem to know how to navigate around without ever having to read the manual.  As for me, I think the people who write those manuals deliberately make it hard to understand.

Today I got a new cell phone.  I am in a real panic.  After three years with my old phone I felt like we were old friends.  Now I need to learn how to navigate around all the menus–and the manual seems to be written in another language!  Bryce seems to be able to intuit how to do stuff on his new phone (which is the twin of mine).  For me it is like visiting a new country without the aid of a map or guide–panic!  I know that in a few weeks I will be more comfortable with it but I want to feel that way NOW!  I have no patience with my technophobia!

Helen  09/30/11

I have always loved to cook.  Even as a little girl I can remember happily busying myself cutting carrots into coins with a dull knife my mom gave me.  When I was about eight or nine my mom let me use the stove.  I made things like cooked pudding from the box or Jello; I heated up canned spaghetti or the previous night’s leftovers for lunch.  In sixth grade we girls got to take “home-making” and the teacher let us make pizza from frozen canned biscuits and egg-salad for sandwiches.  We also got to make chocolate chip cookies and brownies.  The boys would somehow find us girls on our way back to class and try to cajole us into giving up our culinary prizes.

By the time I was in high school I made dinner for my family every night.  My mom would let me know what meat she had defrosted for dinner that evening and I would be left in the kitchen for the next hour to make whatever I wanted (of course limited by what other ingredients my mom had on hand).  Sometimes I would use my mother’s old, grease -spattered cookbook for inspiration or a recipe that I found in a magazine.  By college I had quite a repertoire of recipes that I could make without much thinking.

When I got married I was a pretty good cook and enjoyed having company over for dinner.  I liked trying new dishes.  My first husband and I moved to Nova Scotia right after we were married (he was a Canadian) and I had the opportunity to experiment with fresh seafood which was so cheap and abundant there.  After five years we moved to Toronto and I got the opportunity to try an array of ethnic foods in the restaurants around that city–Chinese, Korean, middle eastern, Indian, Jamaican–what a cornicopia of flavors.  I bought ethnic cookbooks and took classes at night to learn how to reproduce these cuisines.  But the most satisfying thing for me was to see the look of delight on my husband’s face each night as we dined together in our little kitchen.  My cooking made him happy!  It was one way that I could show him how much I loved him.

So tonight as I sit here writing this blog I am also going over in my mind how I will prepare the eggplant and hatch chilli peppers and avacado that I have in our little boat refrigerator.  I have stopped using recipes and cookbooks for the most part.  After fifty years of cooking I know what works and what doesn’t.  I like to “experiment” and make my own recipes.  It is rare for me to make chilli the same way twice–I like to try new ways of making dishes using the ingredients I have on hand.  But one thing is always the same–my cooking is love–love for the people that gather around my table.  Food is love.

Helen  09/24/11

Serenity; Free Ride; Solitude; Tranquility; Pepper; Stella; Rainy Day; Two of a Kind; Distant Star;  Dragon Lady.  These are all boat names.  I love to go into a marina and look at the names people have given to their vessels.  I try to imagine why their owners have chosen these names.  Sometimes you get a hint from the kind of vessel.  For instance, power boats usually have names that indicate speed, e.g. Reel Fast.  Vessels used primarily for recreational fishing usually alude to catching their prey, e.g. Reel Hunter or Line Dancer.  Sailboats often give the impression that the wind is important, e.g. On the Wings of the Wind or Free Ride.

Then there are those names that take some thinking to discern, e.g. Happily Aft Her.  This makes me wonder if a divorce influenced this name.  Sometimes the  color of the hull gives a clue to the name, e.g. Pepper is a small sailboat with a bright red hull.  And then their are names that make me wonder, e.g. Two of a Kind was an enigma until I saw that the owners had two white dogs aboard.

Now you may be wondering where Dragon Lady came from.  Actually our present boat is our third vessel with the name Dragon Lady. Many years ago in the mid-80′s I headed up a program for multi-handicapped kids at the state school for the blind in Raleigh.  We were always under-funded and under-staffed, as many state agencies are today.  So my job included seeking funding for my program from the politicians at the state level.  I loved giving them a tour of our program and then hitting them up for money.  One day over lunch with a representative from the State House I learned that I was being referred to in the legislature as the “Dragon Lady” at the Governor Morehead School.  When I told Bryce that evening he said he loved the moniker.  Soon afterward we purchased our first sailboat, a 22-foot O’Day.  Wondering what to name her, Bryce said we should call her the Dragon Lady to celebrate my power.  And so each succeding sailboat that we have owned has had the same name.  I love that Bryce is not intimidated by my Dragon Lady qualities, but rather, he celebrates them!

Helen   09/17/11

Bryce loves to fish! On our second date (over 30 years ago) he took me fishing at 3:00 in the morning. Bryce is always looking for an opportunity to catch fish. Sometimes he gets “skunked”–lots of effort for very little yield. That is the way it usually is in early spring. But this weekend he hit the jackpot! He and fellow boater/neighbor Jim used cast nets and caught a slew of mullet, sometimes called “jumping mullet” because they have a tendency to jump clear out of the water. The fellows cleaned and filleted the fish and then we pan-fried them in a light seafood breaker mixed with parmesean cheese and garlic-pepper. YUM!

Helen– 07/17/11

Gone fishing! That’s where our Odyssey couple and Bryce are right now (6 a.m. on Saturday morning). This week we did another Odyssey and usually after three or four days the couple reach a saturation point. They have learned a lot about themselves and their particular pattern of interaction. They have also learned a number of ways of getting “unstuck” in their conflicts and we have given them numerous “homework” assignments to practice during their “free time”. After several days of this the couple is reaching the saturation point—this stuff is very intense!  So that’s when we try to give them a break so they can come up for air, so to speak.  Hense the fishing.

This morning Bryce and I took down the dinghy, pulled out the fishing poles and Gulp bait, and loaded the couple in the dinghy for a trip to the back side of Carrot Island in Beaufort.  Today the skies look uncertain and the weather forecast says chance of showers 70%, but it is sticky and humid so a bit of rain may just cool us off.  Bryce plans to fish near the inlet where there is much current during tide changes–a good place to fish.  If they catch anything substantial we will fry it up for tonight’s dinner.  And if they don’t catch anything, they will be left with the sweet memory of having fun together–maybe for the first time in several years!

Helen    07/09/11

I have had some serious medical issues since last August and have been working with a very good doctor who has taken my vague symptoms seriously.  In April she referred me to a specialist since my blood test results had not improved significantly with her interventions.  I was told by this specialist that I probably had a form of  pre-cancer and that I would need more tests in the next several weeks.  Of course I was scared. 

 Bryce has been my rock and has stood by me through the past eight weeks of agony.  He has been there when I wanted to talk about it; he has helped me when I wanted to forget and just have fun.  And I know that he has had his own personal hell dealing with my perceived future absence in his life.  So today when the doctor gave us the good news that my blood test results are now normal, we both let out a collective sigh of relief and went out to celebrate life again.  Yes, I think the power of love helped here–I know it sounds corny, but I believe it is true.  Thank you, Bryce, for all your love!

Helen   –06/22/10

We were tired Saturday night. We had spent the majority of the day working on the boat in the heat and we were ready to get some sleep.  Just as we settled into bed, my cell phone rang and our son announced that Jennifer had gone into labor and our second grandchild was going to be born very soon. An hour later we got the call that Alec Decker Donaldson had been born at 11:01 pm, about a month early, but weighing a respectable 5 lbs. 11 oz. 

Yesterday we hurried to Greensboro to meet the newest addition to our family.  He’s a cute little peanut with a full head of dark hair.  He looks so much like his older brother, Andrew, who just celebrated his fifth birthday on Thursday.  In fact, Sunday we were supposed to celebrate Andrew and my birthdays at my brother and sister-in-laws house.  Andrew was born the day after my 60th birthday and now Alec is born two days after Andrew’s  5th birthday (June 2, 3, and 5).  So next year we will have quite a rousing party!  But this year we took the party to the hospital, birthday cake and all!  What a lovely little surprise!

Helen– 06/07/10