Love Odyssey » Helen Kaye

Relief and Disappointment—Helen 09/03/10

l0v3.t3cht — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:48:13 +0000

Hurricane Earl has come and gone. He brought winds of less than 30 miles an hour and a little rain. We are relieved that he left no destruction in his path here in Oriental. Today is just another gray, rainy day. But I have to admit that I feel a bit of disappointment because of all the time it took to prepare the boat and dock for a hurricane. I guess later today when the rain stops we will begin the task of putting the boat back together—erect the dodger over the companionway, put on the windshield and hatch covers, cover the teak rails, move the dinghy back on the davits with its outboard engine in place, and untie a lot of extra lines holding the boat to the dock. I just hope that this is the last hurricane of the season for NC—because I don’t relish doing this all over again!

Helen –09/03/10

Okay, Earl, Bring It On—Helen—09/02/10—(7 pm)

l0v3.t3cht — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 23:12:27 +0000

We have prepared for this hurricane all day and now we wait. So far we have had no rain and the wind is under 10 miles an hour. At 3:00 this afternoon we had some gusts of close to 30 miles an hour, but that lasted for only a short time. The sky is gray but we still don’t see anything menacing. The water level gradually rose about a foot this afternoon, but it is still well over a foot below the docks. Okay Earl, either come for a visit or go away—make up your mind!

Helen 09/02/10

Preparing for Earl—Helen 09/02/2010

l0v3.t3cht — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:23:34 +0000

Hurricane Earl is knocking on our back door—or so it seems. Everyone in our marina has been tying down their boats, removing canvas, and securely stowing anything that could be a projectile. We are no exception. We arrived at the marina last night at 9 pm and immediately began tying more lines to our pilings and taking down our canvas dodger. Early this morning we removed all the canvas that covers our teak rails and placed more bumpers in strategic places to cushion any contact with the dock. Bryce took our dinghy off the davits that suspended it at the stern of the sailboat and tied it in the water, minus outboard engine.

Now we sit here and wait… so far there is very little wind but the sky is ominously gray. We have been told to expect a storm surge of 3 to 5 feet of water and wind up to 70 miles per hour. Bryce has lines to pilings and the dock that can be adjusted from the boat for rising water levels. We have done all the preparations that can be made. Now we will see what kind of punch Earl wants to give us.

Helen 09/02/2010

A Dinghy Ride—Helen 08/28/10

l0v3.t3cht — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 16:01:06 +0000

Sometimes a girl just needs to have fun! We generally spend a good portion of our time working on boat projects. It seems there is a never-ending list of things that need to be repaired, maintained or up-graded. For example, yesterday we worked on putting bungs in the teak deck and mastic between the narrow teak boards. I really don’t mind doing these projects, but occasionally we have to build in some fun. So this morning we took out our new-to-us dinghy and roared out the channel of the marina and under the Oriental Bridge at full tilt. I was sitting at the bow of the dinghy and each wave that we hit had me bouncing up off my seat. Bryce figured we were doing about 25 miles per hour, which is pretty fast for an 11-foot rigid inflatable boat.

Both of us have an explorer streak—we like to find new places. Today we explored the little creeks that branch out from the Oriental harbor. There were some lovely houses with docks behind where boats of various types were tied up. We saw lots of floats marking crab pots and a few people fishing for puppy drum in remote coves. I always want to see where a creek ends or disappears (or becomes too narrow or shallow for anything but a kayak). Our curiosity quenched, we turned the dinghy around and entered the main harbor where the shrimp boats are docked. We noticed that not as many boats were in the harbor as in previous weekends—maybe the shrimping season is winding down. We tied up the dinghy at the public dock and walked across the street to the Bean for my favorite drink, a “Bean Freeze”. The Bean is the heart of the town and everyone eventually goes there sometime in the weekend. We met a friend we had not seen for many months and chatted for an hour while catching up on the local news. Such a treat! Yes, a girl needs to have some fun—and the dinghy ride was just what I needed.

Helen—08/28/10

Another Odyssey Cruise– Helen 08/21/10

l0v3.t3cht — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 19:14:31 +0000

We just finished our third Safe Passage cruise. It still surprises me how much progress couples make when they commit to a cruise. Our third couple was no exception—they worked hard and learned other ways to connect with their partner so that the love and intimacy that initially was present years ago could once more be evident.

Bryce and I enjoy these cruises but we work hard too. I admire Bryce’s wisdom about where to delve each day and how to tailor exercises to meet each couple’s needs. I know that it must take a lot of courage and energy for each odyssey couple to trust us and give every bit of effort to improve the relationship. We are always tired at the end of each day and I cannot imagine how tired our couples must be. Not only do we move the boat from one location to another almost every day, but we also move the relationship forward each day. There is so much new material to digest daily.

As I sit here now and look back at the past three Safe Passage cruises that we have completed so far this summer, I want to say “Thank you” to the couples who have been brave enough to trust us and let us “beta test” the Love Odyssey concept. It seems that it really does work. And now I look forward to all the new adventures on the relationship sea for couples who need an odyssey to get their relationship back on course again.

Helen –08/21/10

And Life Goes On — Helen 08/15/10

l0v3.t3cht — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 19:49:25 +0000

Today we began another Safe Passage cruise. It is always challenging to see the problems that the couple present and then figure out what types of intervention they need to get un-stuck and moving in a positive direction. But now in addition to helping the couple, we carry our own burden which I mentioned in my last post. It is helpful for us to focus on the couple because we can do something positive and feel good about it; we really can’t do anything about our family problem because it is out of our hands. So tonight I sit here and anticipate helping another couple navigate the thorny path of relationships and I can smile and feel like we are making a difference in their lives. And so life goes on even though we feel this sadness in our chests that we cannot escape.

Helen –08/15/10

An Apology—Helen 08/08/10

l0v3.t3cht — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 15:36:18 +0000

I have not written a blog for over two weeks, and I apologize to my followers. Bryce and I have been hit with a severe family tragedy that has shaken both of us to our very roots. I cannot divulge the details, but Bryce and I are extremely upset and having difficulty doing even the routine day-to-day tasks. We hope that with time we will learn to live with this and grow to become stronger and better people. As the old saying goes: “That which does not kill you, will make you stronger”. I am praying for that strength and saying the Serenity Prayer several times a day. We lean on each other a lot now, and I am so thankful for Bryce’s strength and wisdom. Together we will heal.

Helen – 08/08/10

Go Sailing–Helen 07/25/10

l0v3.t3cht — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 16:51:45 +0000

Yesterday my brother and his family came down for a day of sailing. And what a great sail we had! The wind was blowing a steady 15 knots as we headed down the river. We put up a mizzen sail, mainsail and our jib. This was the first time we used our whiskerpole to keep the end of the jib from flapping–wow! We really moved as we sailed wing-on-wing! I have to agree that running before the wind is the best kind of sailing! All you hear is the swish-swish of the bow wave as the boat effortlessley moves through the water. There is very little motion down in the cabin and drinks stay exactly where you placed them.

Yes, it was hot yesterday–but the breeze was what saved us–and also lots of bottles of cold water to drink. In three hours we were at the Neuse River Marker, half-way to Ocrocoke. Bryce does not like to tack, so the ride back to Oriental was with sails furled and motor going full-tilt. We lounged on the bow and got sufficiently wet with spray to make the heat bearable. An hour later we were tied up in our slip and ready for a dip in the marina’s pool. Not a bad day on the water!
Helen– 07/25/10

Safe Passage Odyssey I — Helen 07/17/10

l0v3.t3cht — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 13:51:15 +0000

It feels like we have been on this odyssey much longer than a week. So much has happened in the past seven days. I have gone from doubting my effectiveness as a co-therapist to realizing that I have insights and perspectives that can help couples as they work through their relationship issues.

I have also seen significant changes in the individuals on our odyssey. Initially they are hurting and angry and over the course of the week they begin to see their own maladaptive behaviors and the part they played in marital problems. Then there is a re-awakening as they learn better ways to communicate with their partner. And today I see their hope in turning the relationship around and making it into something strong and loving. WOW! How neat! I can’t wait to do another odyssey!

Helen – 07/17/10

Holiday Weekend

l0v3.t3cht — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 18:24:20 +0000

We had a fun-filled holiday weekend. We left our dock on Friday morning with a couple we have known for many years and their two pomaranians. This couple owns the boat in the slip adjacent to ours and we have shared many an evening in each others boats. The weather was splendid- sunny skies, warm temps, and no humidity. We took the Intracoastal Waterway to Beaufort and then sailed out in the ocean to one of my favorite spots, Cape Lookout. The wind was perfect for a mizzen sail and staysail and in record time we were anchored in front of Shackelford Banks. I love this anchorage because the wild horses frequently come down to the beach. And sure enough, later that afternoon as we strolled on the beach with our three dogs, we witnessed two stallions squaring off over two mares. What a sight to watch the bold up-start come galloping along the edge of the surf within yards of us, his mane and tail blowing in the breeze and the thunderous sound of his hooves on the packed sand!

On Saturday we packed up our dinghy and headed to the ocean side of Cape Lookout National Park where we had a picnic, played with our dogs, and the fellows went fishing. The water temps. were perfect for a swim and the north wind prevented breakers. It seemed every boat in the Beaufort area was anchored off the beach. That evening the fellows took this picture of our boat at anchor at sunset.

On Sunday morning we headed back to Oriental. Out in the ocean we encountered this large pod of dolphins feeding and cavorting. We took a picture but it just can’t capture the feeling of over thirty dolphins surfacing around the boat. I can’t help feeling that they too had a great holiday weekend.

Helen — 07/06/10